Note to self, You are enough.

I wrote something today.

And I thought of you.

And how much you may need to hear this today.

Because God knows how much I need to hear this every day, and maybe not just hear it… but believe it.

I tell myself again and again to believe it, and I want you to believe it too.

Together, I know we can believe this.

So today I share with you what I wrote. Because I wrote it for you. 

I crave you in your purest form.

Do you not see that beyond all comparison

All imperfection

All anxiousness

All perfection

 Y o u   a re   l o v e d.

~

Just reflecting on the day or the days lately, and I think of the moments in which I valued the most.

And when it is that I saw people in “their purest form”

When someone was strong enough to say

“I felt really hurt”

“I’m really frustrated”

Or simply shared with me what they did during their day.

or what is on their heart.

it was brave.

raw.

I think we often overthink things.

I’ll speak for myself there, but I over think a lot. Probably a whole lot for my own good.

And you know what I was thinking… is that a lot of times it stems from this sense of control I think I have or want to have.

I want to control everything and how it goes.

My image

My writing

How I want to be seen

How others see me

How I come off

And time and time again that nagging thought: WHAT R PPL THINKING OF ME

Why does this thought come and go so often?

I feel my anxiousness rise in and out of me as I sit in unknown places.

Not knowing what others are thinking of me

Then I soon realize how inward this thinking is

How I think so much in these moments of how I am possibly being perceived,

when maybe no one is really perceiving these things at all.

How maybe everyone is thinking the same things I am.

Or maybe not

Maybe my thoughts are unique to me.

But also maybe my thoughts connect with one of you.

And the more I can give a voice to whatever those thoughts are

The more I can give less power to them.

The more you and I can connect.

On some level.

~

Sometimes I think about this hard wired innate desire for connection between us.

And how we all effect each other.

Good or bad,

We do.

We always will.

I see that in and through my thoughts I see this theme of comparison

And how it’s the thief of my joy in even the simplest moments.

And as I compare myself, I love myself less.

And it’s draining.  Exhausting most days.

But I know I’m not the only one who does this, because you have told me so.

With your own words, with your own heart.

And I feel that same comparison in your voice too.

And I look you in YOUR eyes and I tell you, YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I’ll tell you again and again until you believe those words coming out of your own mouth.

Three of the hardest words to believe with your heart, huh?

I wake up most days and think about how I’m not skinny enough, not fit enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not experienced enough, not kind enough…

The cycle is UNENDING.

But my mind goes to this place

Almost instinctly …

WHY?

There are times I feel social media has something to do with this comparison.

How easily I can access your life and compare it to mine.

How easily I can think

I don’t have that body

I don’t look that good in pictures

OMGOSH as I write this I want to SHAKE MYSELF

And talk to myself like I would a friend and say again and again

Til we believe it

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I’ll shout it even louder, so you believe it

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Write it in the sky if I have to.

You are not what post

How many likes you get

How put together your life is

Because reality is, I love my life even in the messiest parts of it.

It reminds me how human I am.

And what a beautiful thing it is to be alive.

“Talk to yourself like a friend” they say.

Truth is…

I’m learning to love myself.

 

And I write this for you as I speak to m y s e l f.

Not knowing if you will ever read this.

But if you do.

If you are.

Just know, how incredibly lucky this world is to have you.

To know you.

To see you.

To taste even a bit of your kindness.

To see that radiating smile of yours.

To hear your kind words.

And how incredibly lucky it is to smile right back at you.

To give love you must be willing to receive it. 

And maybe you won’t even read this at all

But when and if you do

I hope you see one day, if you haven’t already, that you deserve nothing less but to live in thoughts that give you hope and joy.

With people who long to surround you with JOY. 

and how that is a C H O I C E.

Truth is the good stuff won’t be that way everyday but I want you to know deep down that you are not your imperfections

However you are imperfect

But who says that is a bad thing?

This world tricked us into thinking that perfection is worth striving for.

And it will continue to trick us, my friend.

L e t’ s   n o t   l e t   I t .

For in your purest form

You are you

You are loved

You are imperfect BUT SO LOVED

Cherished.

Gazed upon with great love.

Part II: In My Reflection

Image result for looking in mirror photography

I remind myself of you every day.

The courage you had to stand up for what you believe in

even in the hardest times.

The you that had the courage to step out of toxic situations

Relationships

Environments

That you that had the courage to find your voice

To make a choice

To give a voice

To those who thought they had none.

That you that goes out of your way, just to make people smile.

You who is awesome

You who is radiant

And you who is loved.

~ 

I cry sometimes at the thought of how you don’t see this

How you are so down on yourself

and how you don’t see what great courage and beauty you behold

What great love you behold

What great love lives inside of you

And what great love oozes out of you

Just because the people around you don’t tell you

Or don’t make you see it

Doesn’t mean it’s not there

Stop selling yourself short

And start making choices on what and who you surround yourself with

its more important than you think.

I’m tired of you looking in the mirror and not seeing your worthiness

Your courage

Your strength

For you have made it this far

you can’t go back from here

I won’t let you

I can’t bear to see it.

For in you I see the little girl

Who loves to sing

Who loves to dance

Who loves to make people smile and laugh

Who, like your mother in heaven,

shows and gives love through the pure gift of affection

Your warmth

Your hug

Your touch

Your embrace

It is in and through this embrace

that you can embrace others with the love of your creator

Who loves you SO

Who holds you and uplifts you

You

Your body

And your soul

You are enough.

Feel it in your bones, say it in your heart

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Say it with your tears

Say it with your smile

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Feel it in your toes

Feel it in your nose

YOU ARE ENOUGH

Believe it with your words

Believe it with your eyes

YOU ARE ENOUGH.

To be enough is to be loved

To be cherished

to know of your worthiness

To take care of you because you matter

You are important

You are smart

You are out of this world

O n e   o f  a   k i n d.

~~~~~

Part III: Connection

You know what is funny though?

Is that at the end of the day

what I remember is what made you smile

And what my heart felt to see your smile

To see you light up and to feel it in my heart too

Connection

And I want my connection with the world to be meaningful

Because connection means something

somehow, really it means everything.

And I wanna connect meaningfully.

So if believing in my worthiness

Means I can connect with you more meaningfully,

Then I’ll tell myself time and time again

I am enough.

and so are you. 

2 thoughts on “Note to self, You are enough.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s